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June 17, 2020 / JustinKays Porter

We’re Fine, Continued

Hello again. I wish I had better news to report, but all I can really say right now is that we’re still fine. I think COVID has wreaked more havoc on our lives that I thought possible, but we’re still chugging along. Millie has continued to receive her weekly treatments, and we are so lucky in that respect. But missing 12+ weeks of physical therapy seems to have undone all (or at least most) of the progress we’ve made since we moved to Chicago.

It really breaks my heart to even write that, but it’s true. And it’s about time I admit it. In March, Millie spent most of her time standing to play, would cruise around with her walker, could get herself out of bed, and would spend quite a bit of time playing on the floor laying on her belly and rolling around. These are all skills that she has (hopefully only temporarily) lost. For the last month, maybe more, she has only wanted to sit down in a supported position. The things she used to do happily or unhappily (but she would still do!) seem unreachable right now. It’s frustrating. It’s infuriating. It makes me want to hurt whatever asshole decided that physical therapy for toddlers wasn’t an “essential need.” The worst part is, we and her doctors think most of her unwillingness to do things is based in fear, not inability. But because she hasn’t done these things for so long, she’s lost the coordination and the muscles. We are on a very long uphill road.

 

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However, it’s not all dark and stormy. We’re a long way from sunshine and rainbows, but there are definitely blue skies ahead. There have to be. And now that the longest weather metaphor is over, I’ll hit some of the highlights. Millie gets excited about things. For awhile, she seemed so wrapped up in her own head and terrified of everything, that she wouldn’t have much emotion at all. Now, she makes the most adorable sound when she’s excited… it just warms my heart. That sound goes right to my soul every time, and it’s what tells me we’re still on the right track. What gets her excited? Walks (we bought a new stroller, that I’ve dubbed the “chariot”, and she wants to be outside, cruising through the park or along the lake front all day every day.) Brownies. Basket rides (in an empty laundry basket). Countdown chains. Talking to Flo and Lola on FaceTime. Bike rides. Going to our “other home.” Legos. Reading books. Picnics in the park.

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Summer in Chicago has finally arrived, and it really is as beautiful as they say. The city is so green, the lake is so blue, the weather is wonderful, and our apartment is such a short walk from so many gorgeous places. That are finally starting to “officially” open. Although many of them have been unofficially open for weeks, and we’ve been taking full advantage. The beautiful places to go and the weather have improved all of our moods, to say the least.

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We also (finally) started up with physical therapy again last week, and I can already tell a difference. Having anyone other than mom and dad ask you to do something makes it so much more palatable; something I never really understood until now. All you parents reading, you know exactly what I mean! We’ve been able to get Millie back in her tower for brief stints, doing some stand-ups from a sitting positions. We’re just trying to do everything we can to get her confidence up, and maybe build a little muscle along the way.

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In other news, Nate is walking! I would say as of today he spends about half his time walking and half crawling, but he is very quickly ramping up the walking. He also loves to be outside and does NOT like to come inside. Ever. Which is rather difficult, as we don’t really have any outdoor space at our apartment. So back to the stroller and the park we go! Nate babbles, he giggles, he listens, and when Millie makes her excited sound, he loses it with a huge grin and big belly laughs. Anytime I can get that combination, it makes such a bright spot in my day. And those little bright spots are what I need!

I think that’s all for now. We’ll keep on keeping on, and I’m sure you will too. xo

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6 Comments

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  1. Chels / Jun 18 2020 11:46 am

    I want to visit you again in warm, sunny, summery Chicago! Love you guys!!

  2. michaelstpaulporter / Jun 18 2020 8:05 am

    Dear Kaysea and Justin,I so much appreciate receiving the updates, and seeing the photos in the Blog. I’m filled with respect imagining the time and effort to do these, while your hands are filled with daily life. I’m saddened to hear of the 12 weeks of PT Millie had to miss, and the setbacks. Thankful the sessions have resumed. We’ll be cheering her on. You are doing amazing in your cares and parenting. Thank you again for both sharing the difficult info, and seeing and savoring the joyful moments. Even when our words are sparse, please know our hearts are very much with you.Love,Michael and KjemSent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

  3. nancywporter / Jun 17 2020 11:35 pm

    You certainly do keep on keeping on! Maybe an odometer on the new stroller is in order. Yay for Nate walking and entertaining all! My heart is with all of you and especially sweet Millie💕

  4. Susan Wilson / Jun 17 2020 7:57 pm

    So happy to hear from you again! I know it’s been a really long winter and a very trying spring. The summers are beautiful there and I’m so glad you’re able to finally enjoy Chicago! Love seeing all your smiling faces and know they aren’t always that way, but they are in my mind! We’re with you in spirit. Keep on keeping on!

  5. Ma / Jun 17 2020 6:52 pm

    Beautifully written once again😍
    Love that things are swinging towards rainbows and sunshine. I have heard Millie’s excited sequel on FaceTime. Warms my heart. Nate’s giggles 😍👏
    All good. Keep on chuggin. Millie will get it back! So much love and support to all of you!!
    See you soon
    Xoxoxo xoxoxo xox
    Ma

  6. Ma / Jun 17 2020 6:52 pm

    Beautifully written once again😍
    Love that things are swinging towards rainbows and sunshine. I have heard Millie’s excited sequel on FaceTime. Warms my heart. Nate’s giggles 😍👏
    All good. Keep on chuggin. Millie will get it back! So much love and support to all of you!!
    See you soon
    Xoxoxo xoxoxo xox
    Ma

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